By Dr. Chua Sook Ning
How fused are you?
Sometimes it feels like the goals we are pursuing are a part of who we are, that they are included in our self. Look at these two circles and think of a goal that matters to you. One that is important and that you are actively pursuing. With this goal in mind, select the picture that best represents how much this goal is included in yourself or a part of who you are.
Research has shown that the more the two circles overlap, the less likely you are to approach your goals in a healthy way. You are not going to be able to persevere as much and actually decreases the likelihood of you achieving your goal.
So unfuse yourself from your goal. It is counterintuitive! But it’s more likely to make goal achievement possible.
1. You respond to failure better – which allows you to persevere on.
2. You have a learning mindset (vs. achievement mindset). This allows you to learn from mistakes and do a better job next time.
3. Your self-esteem doesn’t fluctuate depending on how well you do in your goal. Having a clear and stable self-concept allows you to maintain a clear strategy for achieving your goal in a way that promotes well-being.