Site icon RELATE

Patience, persistence, and perseverance: the keys to making new habits stick

Have you ever wondered why some habits seem to stick effortlessly while others feel like an uphill battle? The process of habit formation is a fascinating journey that intertwines psychology, neuroscience, and personal determination.

Contrary to popular belief, there’s no magic number of days that guarantees a new habit will take root. The oft-cited “21-day rule” is more myth than fact, stemming from a misinterpretation of anecdotal observations. In reality, the time it takes to form a habit varies significantly from person to person and depends on the complexity of the behaviour we want to change.

An illuminating 2009 study on habits from University College London sheds light on the actual timeline of habit formation. In tracking participants for 84 days, researchers found that, on average, it took about 66 days for a new behaviour to become automatic. However, this figure comes with an important caveat: individual results varied widely, ranging from 18 to 254 days.

So, why is there such a broad range? The complexity of the habit plays a crucial role. Simple behaviours, like drinking a glass of water after breakfast, tend to become habitual more quickly than complex ones, such as performing a series of exercises. Additionally, individual differences in personality, motivation, and circumstances all contribute to the variation in habit-forming speed.

Understanding this variability is crucial when taking the first steps toward habit change. It’s essential to approach the process with patience and realistic expectations. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither are long-lasting habits.

But why can it be so challenging to make new habits stick? One key factor is the strength of existing routines. Our brains are wired for efficiency, and established habits are like well-worn paths in a forest. Creating a new habit is like trying to forge a new path – it requires consistent effort and repetition to make it as easy to follow as the old one.

Habits also often involve complex cue-response mechanisms. For a new habit to form, your brain needs to associate a specific cue (like waking up) with a particular response (such as meditating). This association strengthens over time through repetition, but it’s not an instantaneous process.

Despite these challenges, it’s important to remember that you have the power to shape your habits. Here are some strategies to help you get started:

  1. Start small: Begin with manageable changes. If you want to read more, start with just five minutes a day rather than aiming for an hour.
  2. Be consistent: Regularity is key. Try to perform your new habit at the same time or in the same context each day.
  3. Use habit stacking: Attach your new habit to an existing one. For example, if you already have a morning coffee routine, use that as a cue to practice a new habit immediately afterwards.
  4. Create a supportive environment: Make it easy to perform your new habit and difficult to fall back into old patterns.
  5. Be patient with yourself: Habit formation is a process. Slip-ups are normal – they don’t negate your progress.
  6. Track your progress: Keep a record of your habit-forming. Seeing your consistency on paper can be motivating.
  7. Celebrate small wins: Acknowledge your efforts, no matter how small. Each step forward is a movement in the right direction.

Every small action you take is a step towards change. You have the agency to shape your behaviours, even if progress seems slow at times. Each day you stick to your new routine, you’re rewiring your brain, creating new neural pathways that will eventually make your desired behaviour feel as natural as breathing.

Remember, the goal isn’t perfection, but progress. Some days will be easier than others, and that’s perfectly normal. What matters most is your commitment to the process. Whether it takes 66 days or 200, each repetition of your chosen behaviour brings you closer to making it an ingrained part of your life.

As you set out to form new habits, arm yourself with patience, persistence, and perseverance. Embrace the journey of personal growth, knowing that every effort counts. Your future self will thank you for the positive changes you’re setting in motion today.

The power to shape your habits – and by extension, your life – lies within you. Take that first step, and then another, and watch as small, consistent actions transform into lasting change.

(Book recommendation: The Power of Habit, by Charles Duhigg)

Exit mobile version