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By Chua Sook Ning, PhD
You have the right not to be abused; to live and work in an environment where you are safe and secure; and to well-being.
 
Abuse not only affects those who are abused, but also has a substantial effect on family members, friends, co-workers, other witnesses, and the community at large. Children, who grow up witnessing domestic violence, are among those seriously affected by this crime. Frequent exposure to violence in the home not only predisposes children to numerous social and physical problems, but also teaches them that violence is a normal way of life – therefore, increasing their risk of becoming society’s next generation of victims and abusers. Even adult bystanders become more anxious and stressed being in an environment where abuse occurs. Chronic exposure to abuse will eventually affect their physical and emotional health.

1. Know your worth. 

You find yourself n a position where your worth is being undermined by someone else and you are being treated less than what your value. It does not matter how you get there, it matters that you get out.
 
You may feel a sense of helplessness in the situation and are resigned to accepting the abuse. You may feel that they have no other choice, or that you don’t deserve better treatment.
You have inherent value as a person. Your worth is not determined by what others say or do; by your status and station in life; by your wealth and possessions; by what you have or what you do.
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men (and women) are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.”
 
You have the right to pursue your life, your freedom and your happiness.
Remember that it’s never okay for someone to hurt you or threaten to hurt you.

2. Know your rights.

If you are under 18 years of age, you have the right to grow in good health and dignity. Anything that threatens that, be it physical, emotional, sexual and neglect is not legally allowed under the Child Protection Act 2001.

You are protected against abuse of any kind in any familial relationships under the Domestic Violence Act.

As a worker, you are legally protected from sexual harassment under the Employment Act.

3. Know your options.

You may feel like there are no options but to remain in this abusive situation. Sometimes it is scary to leave what is familiar even though you know that it is not a healthy relationship.

You may feel guilty about reporting the person abusing you. Sometimes even though you realize it’s wrong, you don’t want the person to “get into trouble”, and you want to protect that person. This should not stop you from leaving the situation and being safe. The fact is, you need protection and safety more than the person abusing you.
Sometimes reporting the person who is abusing you is to help the person realize that his/her actions is legally and morally wrong. People who abuse will go on to abuse others. In order to stop the cycle of abuse and to prevent further harm to yourself and to others, it is necessary to stop them by involving the authorities.

You are not to be blamed for this situation. It is not your fault that someone abuses you.

If you are not ready to make a decision yet, a good place to start is by exploring your options. Information seeking is a good step forward to making a decision without any pressure or obligation.

Where to get help:

There are a number of organizations that offer counseling specific to those who are in abusive relationships. In addition, they can also help you navigate the legal process as you seek help to stop the abuse or to explore your legal recourse.

Numbers to contact:

Police
03-2031 9999 / 03-2266 3333

Child abuse Hotline
15999

To discuss your next step or to seek counselling, you may call:
Women’s Aid Organisation (WAO)
03-7956 3488
Provides help to women and their children.
Services provided in English and Malay and, by appointment, in Mandarin and Tamil.

Women’s Centre for Change (WCC) Penang
04-2280 342
Provides help to anyone in crisis or in need of counseling and guidance.
English and Malay and, by appointment, in Mandarin and Tamil.

Telenita Helpline (All Women’s Action Society)
03-7877 0224
Provides help to anyone in crisis or in need of counseling and guidance.
Services provided in English and Malay and, by appointment, in Mandarin and Tamil.

Telenisa (Sisters In Islam)
03-7960 8802
Provides legal advice on Muslim women’s rights.

In addition, Legal Aid Centers of various states will also offer legal help to individuals in financial need.

Speak up if you suspect domestic violence or abuse

If you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up! If you’re hesitating—telling yourself that it’s none of your business, you might be wrong, or the person might not want to talk about it—keep in mind that expressing your concern will let the person know that you care and may even save his or her life.
 
Talk to the person in private and let him or her know that you’re concerned. Point out the things you’ve noticed that make you worried. Tell the person that you’re there, whenever he or she feels ready to talk. Reassure the person that you’ll keep whatever is said between the two of you, and let him or her know that you’ll help in any way you can.
 
Remember, abusers are very good at controlling and manipulating their victims. People who have been emotionally abused or battered are depressed, drained, scared, ashamed, and confused. They need help to get out, yet they’ve often been isolated from their family and friends. By picking up on the warning signs and offering support, you can help them escape an abusive situation and begin healing.
 
 
References

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