Relate Let’s Talk: What depression and anxiety feel like to me

Trigger warning

What does depression feel like to me?

You can’t see any beauty in life. Life is like a dead end.

Depression is this sadness feeling you can’t lift up no matter what you do, no matter how great your life is going on. Anxiety is worrying about everything and being restless. Imagine having both.

It’s not being ungrateful, it’s not about being grumpy. It’s not about being dramatic. It’s not about being lazy.

It’s a constant battle. You doubt yourself. You doubt everything.  You never feel good enough. You blame yourself for everything. You withdraw from life and people because you don’t think you deserve them.

The thought that if only you never existed in the first place keeps lingering in your mind.

Some days you just can’t get up. You can’t do anything. You’ll just lay on the bed. You just want things to end.

You don’t seek for help anymore because you tired of being told how dramatic you are.  Just brush off those negative thoughts, they say.

It’s not as easy. People who never experience it won’t understand. There’s a difference between sadness and depression. Sadness can go away but not depression. It stays.

I really hope people will understand how we feel. How we do not make this up and how we hope it’s treated as a real disease.

Never in million years you’ll tell cancer patient to just snap out of it, eh?

I am not asking you to sympathize, just be patient and understand us.

The disease may not always manifest in physical symptoms, but it’s there.

Anonymous

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Depression is a common mental health condition that affects 1 in 10 Malaysians. Fortunately there are also many effective treatments for depression today. Click here to find out more about depression, its causes and common treatments.