Working with depression and anxiety
By Anonymous
I am a twenty-something female who recovered from depression just a few years earlier during my pursuit of a PhD. I had anxiety and mild depression and took minimal dose of medication for two months before trying out Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which worked better for me. I will forever be indebted to the Malaysia Mental Health Association (MMHA) for providing free counselling and group therapy sessions to help me recover.
Later, I quit my PhD since it was a major trigger of my depression. I decided to find a job, any job, to fill my time and earn an income while I think about what to do with my life. My dream was to be an academic, but that dream seemed impossible for now.
By chance, I landed a job in a tech start-up company. Months later, I came to realize from online articles that start-up companies are usually fast paced and stressful workplaces. It was not the case for me back then, as the company was growing at a reasonable pace and I could still work normal hours with minimal overtime.
A few years later, I was still in the same company but things have changed. My workload increased exponentially and I began to feel the pressure of keeping up. My to-do list kept expanding and changing while I grappled with new tech and working procedures. I was given a more managerial role. After a few months of hectic working schedule and much overtime, I began to experience low moods more often at home. More recently, I cried some mornings before I went to work. When I finally caught a break and found time to reflect, I realized that my depression might be coming back for a visit.
I was terrified. I love my current job and colleagues. I did not want to feel scared of going to work, just like I did when I was doing my PhD.
Currently, I am finding ways to handle my anxiety to go to work. I read articles online written by entrepreneurs or start-up employees to see how they do it and try to emulate the steps myself. I am considering having a discussion with my employer-cum-founder to see if there are ways to elevate my work stress, but I am not sure if that will affect my future in the company.
Perhaps a stressful working life is not for me. Perhaps I can learn better coping skills. I certainly hope it is the latter. I am trying.
I wish the best for people who share similar concerns.
Hi there, I am in my early twenties and i have been suffering with GAD and mild depression too. I wouldn’t say that I completely understand how you feel as emotions do differ from one and another. However, I would like you to learn the technique of breathing. Whenever you feel stress out, just inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. It will calm you down. Anyways, sending you lots of love and light over ! Thank you for being brave enough to share your story, give yourself a pat on your shoulder. 🙂